Laugh a minute

Whilst out walking yesterday with my two youngest sons one mentioned the "mark of Cain" to which the other responded with "Oh, yes Cain. He used to hang around with Abel", and then smiling said, "Whatever happened to Abel?"

We then saw in the distance a man sitting beside his car with one of the rear wheels on the ground beside him. One son said "I wonder what's wrong with his car", to which the other replied, "One of the wheels came off".

Simple pleasures

It's amazing how a slice of toast, with just the right colour and topping can raise a smile in almost anyone.

Stupid alert!

The results of an opinion poll have just been published. It seems that since November there has been a marking increase in the number of climate change sceptics. This is exactly as I expected. People walk outside and see snow and when someone asks "Do you believe in global warming?" they answer "No". It's winter you morons. It's cold. It happens every year, remember? I can't believe it takes just one fall of snow for people to forget the fact that the average temperature of the planet has been going up every year. The last decade was the hottest ever recorded and the one before that was previously the hottest ever recorded.

http://www.earth-policy.org/index.php?/indicators/C51/

DAMN! There are too many stupid people!

Dangerous idiot alert.

The Pope has urged British Catholics to fight the Equality Bill. This law is intended to ban discrimination in the basis of sexuality. The Pope wants to continue to the church's ban on employing openly homosexual people as priests. How can anyone be surprised at this? The Pope's homophobia is already well established. He is a member of an organisation that pretends to have invented human morality and thinks it is automatically entitled to respect and deference. Sorry Mr Pope but you should wake up to reality. There are too many free-thinkers in Britain. You should concentrate your power plays and fairy stories in those countries where there are more ignorant and vulnerable minds. Better still, just stop doing it altogether. Your invisible sky friend doesn't exist and soon everyone will know.

Blog in the style of Monet.

Blogger has a tab by which I can Monetise my blog. However when I click on this the page does not look like it was painted by Monet as I expected, it merely offers to add advertising. How disappointing.

Funny kids

I just remembered an incident that happened late last year. I was driving home with my two youngest in the car when one of them read aloud a sign by a farm gate - "Christmas Trees and Potatoes". To which the other replied "Ah yes, the traditional Irish greeting at this time of year, 'Good day sir, Christmas trees and potatoes to you.'"

It's official

The test results from the Health Protection Agency have confirmed that my wife and two of our children have Swine Flu. As the rest of us have been unwell too we assume that we have also had/still have the same strain but with milder symptoms.

Disappointed

Last night we went to a concert that had been rescheduled after being canceled with 2 days notice in December due to illness of one of the band members.

After the support act finished, the road crew removed their equipment and the road crew of the main act set up their equipment and tested microphones, guitars etc. The stage lights dimmed and the audience began to cheer in anticipation. Then a solitary figure walked a few feet onto the stage and read a statement to the effect that due to illness of one of the members of the group they are regret that they are unable to perform and please contact the box office in the morning for refunds. It sounded like a joke. The audience looked around, the lighting crew looked at each other with puzzled expressions as did the venue staff. After a few minutes we realised that it was true. The group had canceled again. I think my mood was a perfect match for the dictionary definition:

disappointed
–adjective
depressed or discouraged by the failure of one's hopes or expectations:.

Overheard today

World War I started when someone shot Archbishop Franz Ferdinand.

Hopeless optimism

I'm using anti-antiperspirant in January.